How do Trump supporters still love Trump? Let George Conway count the ways.
The husband of White House presidential counselor Kellyanne Conway — who, unlike his wife, is an avowed and outspoken critic of Donald J. Trump — has written a satirical column targeting the president’s base in the Washington Post. It mocks Trump loyalists by using the president’s own words against him in a laundry list of gaffes, controversial quotes and inaccurate statements on everything from the coronavirus pandemic and the Black Lives Matter movement to wishing accused sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell “well.”
The opinion piece, headlined “I (still) believe the president, and in the president” and published on Monday, is a follow-up to a similar satire that he penned for the paper in February, which mocked the Senate’s vote to acquit Trump of both impeachment articles. Both columns echo the Apostles’ Creed, which is used as an affirmation of faith in many Christian denominations , to make fun of Trump supporters’ faith in their elected leader by calling out some of his more contested and even contradictory statements.
“So I believed the president in January and February when he said covid-19 was ‘totally under control,’ that it was Democrats’ ‘new hoax,’ and that he was ‘not at all’ worried about a pandemic,” Conway writes. “I believed him in March when he said he ‘felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic.’”
Conway also dredged up Trump’s suggestion that household disinfectants and ultraviolet light should be used inside patients’ bodies to fight the virus, as well as his oft-repeated claim that “you can test too much” for COVID-19. And he jabbed at the president’s being at odds with the nation’s leading infectious-disease expert, Dr. Anthony Fauci. “I believe the president and the doctor who believes in demon sperm and the medical use of space alien DNA, and not Anthony S. Fauci, who’s an ‘alarmist’ and ‘wrong.’ ”
“I believe that the president has done a tremendous job fighting the virus — and that he shouldn’t ‘take responsibility at all’ — even though about 160,000 Americans have died. I believe the virus ‘is what it is.’ ”
Regarding the president’s race relations, Conway writes: “I believe it isn’t racist to call the coronavirus ‘kung flu’ or ‘the China virus.’ It isn’t racially divisive to say Black Lives Matter is a ‘symbol of hate,’ to celebrate Confederate generals as part of our ‘Great American Heritage,’ or to share video of someone shouting ‘white power,’ which, like displaying the Confederate flag, is ‘freedom of speech.’ ”
And it mentions Trump saying that the late civil-rights icon Rep. John Lewis made a “big mistake” in not attending his inauguration, per a buzzworthy interview with Axios reporter Jonathan Swan, and that the president has done more for Blacks than any other president.
Conway also picks up recent verbal blunders. “I believe it’s normal for the president to say ‘Yo Semites’ and ‘Yo Seminites,’ ‘Thigh Land,’ ‘Minne-a-napolis,’ ‘toe-tally-taria-tism,’ ‘Thomas Jeffers’ and ‘Ulyss-eus S. Grant,’ ” and “I believe it’s Biden who’s cognitively impaired.”
“I believe it’s normal that the president wished his friend Ghislaine Maxwell ‘well’ and ‘good luck,’ even though his administration charged her with sex trafficking teenage girls for another presidential friend, Jeffrey Epstein,” he adds.
“I believe we should ‘Delay the Election until people can properly, securely and safely vote’ — but that ‘SCHOOLS MUST OPEN IN THE FALL!!!’ ”
Conway wraps up by highlighting the White House effort to undermine mail-in ballots for the November election. “I believe absentee voting, where voters mail in their ballots, is good, and that mail-in voting, where voters mail in their ballots, is totally different, and bad — and will result in ‘the most INACCURATE & FRAUDULENT Election’ in history. Except in Florida, where absentee and mail-in voting are the same and both good, ‘because Florida has got a great Republican governor.’ ”
Conway ends on this note: “I believe the president won the popular vote in 2016 ‘if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally.’ I believe he shouldn’t accept the election results if he loses in November.”
The column went viral on Twitter /zigman2/quotes/203180645/composite TWTR +1.62% overnight Monday into Tuesday, with many Trump critics tweeting the phrase “I believe George Conway” and claiming his piece had “burned” the president and his supporters “to the ground.”
But Conway critics sniffed that conservatives “stopped listening to George Conway the moment he opened his mouth.”