By David Weidner, MarketWatch
SAN FRANCISCO (MarketWatch) — Chuck Norris, a guy who could strangle you with a cordless phone, is pretty tough.
But wait until you hear about his Wall Street counterpart, Jamie Dimon.
Dimon is chief executive of one of the nation’s biggest banks, J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. /zigman2/quotes/205971034/composite JPM +0.57% His job is kind of like being the top Texas Ranger, if that meant having the reputation of being the biggest, toughest banker on Wall Street.
Last week, speaking before the Council on Foreign Relations, Dimon made a boast that was Norrisesque. Dimon said that J.P. Morgan’s decision to buy Bear Stearns in March 2008 was “a favor” to the Federal Reserve. Read about Dimon’s remarks at CFR .
He went on to say that J.P. Morgan, which has posted $48 billion in profit during the last three years, could have made $5 billion to $10 billion more, if not for buying Bear.
It’s a boast not unlike Chuck Norris and the hand grenade. You know, Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade exploded. Read more Chuck Norris jokes and facts.
Dimon’s version goes something like this:
When Jamie Dimon takes over a competitor, keeps the best parts, fires thousands in its ranks, in a deal orchestrated by regulators and backed by taxpayers, Jamie Dimon didn’t get the favor, he did the favor.
Wow. I suppose a ”thank you” to Dimon is in order. What else have you got, Jamie?
When Jamie Dimon goes to the Fed, he gives the window a discount.
Jamie Dimon doesn’t receive $23.1 million in annual compensation, he does shareholders the favor of taking it.
The fiscal cliff looks like a sidewalk crack to Jamie Dimon.
Jamie Dimon thinks the 848-page Dodd-Frank Act is a simplistic solution to Wall Street problems.
Jamie Dimon doesn’t watch interest rates, he sets them.